Some Nice Santa JOKES

• Titanic was sinking.
  An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs.
  Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction?
  Santa: Downwards!

• How did santa tried to kill a bird??
  He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

• Santa: I have swallowed a key.
  Doctor: When?
  Santa: 3 months back!
  Doctor: What were you doing till now?
  Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost that too.

• Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.

• Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

• Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
  Santa: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

• A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
  Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
  Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

• Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
  Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

• Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
  Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .

• Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
  Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

• An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.
  Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
  Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

• Ultimate answer while changing the job.
  Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
  Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.
  

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Very Touching Story

A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.

When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happyfuture. The girl's father started searching for the twolovers but could not find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in alocal newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I willallow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."

So in this way, their love won and they returned home.

The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on thespot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that sherecovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy fromher daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained.

Next night she again had the samedream she again washed the stains but some still remained.

Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else somethingterrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains,and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home,someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old ladyof her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked thegirl. She asked "What is this...?"The old lady replied...

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"Try Surf Excel Washing powder... just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!" .