Enough of Sardar jokes……………..Mallu jokes are here!!!!!!!!!!
1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax
2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.
3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.
4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.
5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen
8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto
11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask
12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.
13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.
14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi
15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "
17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.
18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of kokanet oil.
19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs
Awesome Arts on Pavements
Superb Arts on Pavements..
A whole city under the pavement !!
A really Big box of crayons !
Looks like someone put a 3D globe in the middle of the road ! But this is actually painted on the road in such a strerched manner that when viewed from this angle, It look 3D!
Look at the same painting from a different angle -
Harry Potter Series
The Harry Potter series of seven fantasy novels was written by English author J. K. Rowling about an adolescent boy named Harry Potter and his best friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. The story is mostly set at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a school for young wizards and witches, and focuses on Harry Potter's fight against the evil wizard Lord Voldemort, who killed Harry's parents as part of his plan to take over the wizarding world.
Since the release of the first novel, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (retitled Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in the United States) in 1997, the books have gained immense popularity, critical acclaim and commercial success worldwide, spawning films, video games and assorted merchandise. The seven books published to date have collectively sold more than 325 million copies and have been translated into more than 64 languages. The seventh and last book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, was released on 21 July 2007. Publishers announced a record-breaking 12 million copies for the first print run in the U.S. alone.
The success of the novels has made Rowling the highest-earning novelist in literary history. English language versions of the books are published by Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom, Scholastic Press in the United States, Allen & Unwin in Australia and Raincoast Books in Canada.
The first five books have been made into highly successful motion pictures by Warner Bros. The sixth, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, is set to begin filming in September 2007, and has a scheduled release of 21 November 2008.
Author :---> J. K. Rowling (Joanne Rowling)
Country :---> United Kingdom
Language :---> English
Genre(s) :---> Fantasy, Thriller , Bildungsroman
Since the release of the first novel, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (retitled Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in the United States) in 1997, the books have gained immense popularity, critical acclaim and commercial success worldwide, spawning films, video games and assorted merchandise. The seven books published to date have collectively sold more than 325 million copies and have been translated into more than 64 languages. The seventh and last book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, was released on 21 July 2007. Publishers announced a record-breaking 12 million copies for the first print run in the U.S. alone.
The success of the novels has made Rowling the highest-earning novelist in literary history. English language versions of the books are published by Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom, Scholastic Press in the United States, Allen & Unwin in Australia and Raincoast Books in Canada.
The first five books have been made into highly successful motion pictures by Warner Bros. The sixth, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, is set to begin filming in September 2007, and has a scheduled release of 21 November 2008.
Author :---> J. K. Rowling (Joanne Rowling)
Country :---> United Kingdom
Language :---> English
Genre(s) :---> Fantasy, Thriller , Bildungsroman
Top Six "Good Parents"
6th place goes to
5th place goes to
4th place goes to
3rd place goes to
2nd place goes to
1st place goes to
5th place goes to
4th place goes to
3rd place goes to
2nd place goes to
1st place goes to
Reason why call centre people get paid soooo much......
1)Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-upmenu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done upuntilthis point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click'."
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2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still gettingthe same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what itsays."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recoverydisk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"Customer: "No..."
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4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
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5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------
7) Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegalabortion."
Tech support : ??????
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-upmenu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done upuntilthis point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click'."
----------------------------------------
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still gettingthe same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what itsays."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recoverydisk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------
7) Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegalabortion."
Tech support : ??????
Nice Definitions
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so thatyou can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degreeand a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of theLecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds ofeither"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybodybelieves he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens andeverybody disagrees later on.Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he gotcaught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you areearly.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than youactually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit todecide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of whendead
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so thatyou can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degreeand a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of theLecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds ofeither"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybodybelieves he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens andeverybody disagrees later on.Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he gotcaught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you areearly.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than youactually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit todecide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of whendead
The Barber (Joke)...toooooooo good
There was a good old barber in Mumbai.
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with print-outs of
forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut. :D
Cheers
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with print-outs of
forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut. :D
Cheers
IAS - Question and the Answer
Question and the Answer given by Candidates,
They are IAS(Indian Administrative Services) - THE most difficult examination inIndia .
Candidates are graduate Officers now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would ittake four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and fourapples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant withone hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank )
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or onereally difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for awhile and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on thecorrectness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's theDAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,"
Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECONDdifficult question!"He was selected for IIM!
They are IAS(Indian Administrative Services) - THE most difficult examination inIndia .
Candidates are graduate Officers now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would ittake four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and fourapples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant withone hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank )
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or onereally difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for awhile and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on thecorrectness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's theDAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,"
Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECONDdifficult question!"He was selected for IIM!
Newton's Law of Love
Newton in romantic mood....
Universal law:
" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transferfromOne girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money."
First law:
" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girlin love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unlessany external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play andbreak the legs of the boy. "
Second law:
" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy isdirectly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy andthe direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of thebank balance. "
Third law:
" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal andoppositeto the force applied by the girl while slapping"
Interview Tip
Interviewer said, "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
Interviewer said, " I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The candidate thought for a while and said, " My choice is one really difficult question."" Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the interviewer.
Here is your question: " What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the correctness of the answer to that one question. He thought for a while and said, " It's DAY sir!"" How?" the interviewer asked." Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
Moral : Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity
Interviewer said, " I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The candidate thought for a while and said, " My choice is one really difficult question."" Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the interviewer.
Here is your question: " What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the correctness of the answer to that one question. He thought for a while and said, " It's DAY sir!"" How?" the interviewer asked." Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
Moral : Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity
Q & A ~ Try it
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms.The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
************
See the answers below....
Answers
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.
4. The answer is Charcoal.
5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
************
See the answers below....
Answers
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.
4. The answer is Charcoal.
5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
10 Worst URL's
1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is:
www.whorepresents.com
Read: www.whore-presents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at:
www.expertsexchange.com
Read: www.expert-sex-change.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at:
www.penisland.net
read: www.penis-land.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:
www.therapistfinder.com
read: www.therapist-finder.com
5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company:
www.powergenitalia.com
read: www.power-genitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales, Australia:
www.molestationnursery.com
read: www.molestation-nursery.com
7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always:
www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is:
www.cummingfirst.com
read: www.cumming-first.com
9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website, Speed of Art:
www.speedofart.com
read: www.speed-o-fart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at:
www.gotahoe.com
read: www.got-a-hoe.com
www.whorepresents.com
Read: www.whore-presents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at:
www.expertsexchange.com
Read: www.expert-sex-change.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at:
www.penisland.net
read: www.penis-land.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:
www.therapistfinder.com
read: www.therapist-finder.com
5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company:
www.powergenitalia.com
read: www.power-genitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales, Australia:
www.molestationnursery.com
read: www.molestation-nursery.com
7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always:
www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is:
www.cummingfirst.com
read: www.cumming-first.com
9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website, Speed of Art:
www.speedofart.com
read: www.speed-o-fart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at:
www.gotahoe.com
read: www.got-a-hoe.com
Tips to Get Rid of Pimples
Most of the pimple products on the market are just there to rip you off. There is no guaranteed cure for pimples, and there probably never will be. Keeping your face clean and moisturized is about the most important thing you can do.
Drink 8 or more glasses of water a day.Sleep more.
Your body will be more prepared to deal with problems.
Avoid touching your face, as this just spreads bacteria.
Only use oil-free products on your face.
Always use toner and moisturizerWash your hands often to rid them of oils.
Vinegar works well, too.Try Off EZY Wart Remover with 17% salicylic acid medication to each pimple individually. Do not use it everywhere, as it will sting. Apply calamine lotion around the area.
See a doctor about serious acne.
Try not to wear makeup. It clogs pores and can lead to breakouts.
Eat foods high in protein, iron, fiber, and zinc.Give the treatments time. An acne treatment is not going to work "just like that."
Avoid the use of products with 10% or greater concentration of Benzoyl Peroxide. BP is known to cause dryness,itchyness, and burning sensation of the skin. Consult a medical professional if you experience any of these symptoms.
Accutane is a wonder drug for acne it can almost wipe out breakouts with a 3-6 month treatment and can last anywhere from 1 year to a lifetime!
Wash your face and put baby powder on the area. It's the fastest way to dry those pimples out and get rid of them. Baby powder works like a charm.
If you have pimples that you want to get rid of fast, put ice on them for 30-60 seconds every 30 minutes. And then apply rubbing alcohol.
WarningsToothpaste doesn't really work. It's supposed to but doesn't make a noticeable difference.
Don't scratch or pick at your pimples. It will only make the situation worse. Only pop pimple if they are very white and fixing to explode; even then one should wash their hands and avoid having to apply too much pressure.
Don't wash your face too often--it can dry out your skin and cause irritation.
Drink 8 or more glasses of water a day.Sleep more.
Your body will be more prepared to deal with problems.
Avoid touching your face, as this just spreads bacteria.
Only use oil-free products on your face.
Always use toner and moisturizerWash your hands often to rid them of oils.
Vinegar works well, too.Try Off EZY Wart Remover with 17% salicylic acid medication to each pimple individually. Do not use it everywhere, as it will sting. Apply calamine lotion around the area.
See a doctor about serious acne.
Try not to wear makeup. It clogs pores and can lead to breakouts.
Eat foods high in protein, iron, fiber, and zinc.Give the treatments time. An acne treatment is not going to work "just like that."
Avoid the use of products with 10% or greater concentration of Benzoyl Peroxide. BP is known to cause dryness,itchyness, and burning sensation of the skin. Consult a medical professional if you experience any of these symptoms.
Accutane is a wonder drug for acne it can almost wipe out breakouts with a 3-6 month treatment and can last anywhere from 1 year to a lifetime!
Wash your face and put baby powder on the area. It's the fastest way to dry those pimples out and get rid of them. Baby powder works like a charm.
If you have pimples that you want to get rid of fast, put ice on them for 30-60 seconds every 30 minutes. And then apply rubbing alcohol.
WarningsToothpaste doesn't really work. It's supposed to but doesn't make a noticeable difference.
Don't scratch or pick at your pimples. It will only make the situation worse. Only pop pimple if they are very white and fixing to explode; even then one should wash their hands and avoid having to apply too much pressure.
Don't wash your face too often--it can dry out your skin and cause irritation.
Interesting Facts about Girls.
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship' s over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawing sand writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship' s over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawing sand writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."
Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1 => Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2 => If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3 => Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4 => Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.Commandment 5 => When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6 => Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7 => Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8 => Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9 => Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.
Commandment 10 => A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
New Element Found
Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.
*PHYSICAL PROPERTIES*
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.
*CHEMICAL PROPERTIES*
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
3. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
*TESTS *
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.
*POTENTIAL HAZARD*
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.
*!! WARNING!!*PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.
*PHYSICAL PROPERTIES*
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.
*CHEMICAL PROPERTIES*
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
3. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
*TESTS *
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.
*POTENTIAL HAZARD*
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.
*!! WARNING!!*PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.
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